


Can't Tell

by HouseElfMagic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: (such negative connotations are not representative of the author), I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, M/M, but there's a little less internalized homophobia to be seen, philkas with superpowers, slightly homophobic comments because of Lukas, the murders still happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:51:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8639569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseElfMagic/pseuds/HouseElfMagic
Summary: It’s simple. Two slightly-super-powered boys get together, make out a lot, and then have to hide from a super-powered killer out to eliminate any witnesses, while the boys struggle with their own problems.But what use are lights and flowers against a man that can fire bullets without a damn gun?ON HIATUS





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Put a Fever Inside Me (I've Been Cold) by harlequin421  
> (http://archiveofourown.org/works/8619160)
> 
> I wanted to do an Eyewitness superheroes thing, but they beat me to it. Read theirs though, it's much better than mine. XD

It’s simple. Two slightly-super-powered boys get together, make out a lot, and then have to hide from a super-powered killer out to eliminate any witnesses, while the boys struggle with their own problems. But what use are lights and flowers against a man that can fire bullets without a damn gun?

What use are powers that can’t help anybody? So what if you can make pretty flowers bloom out of season or make some pretty lights? Everyone knows that most powers are useless. “Supers” have the legit powers.

The rest are either “regs” or “ineffs”--regulars or ineffectives. It was a pretty shitty vocabulary for non supers. Supers were the ones that got all the fame. They were the vigilantes, the big-time cops, the fancy-ass lawyers, the miracle doctors. They were the ones kids and adults alike looked up to.

Being a super was rare--only about 4% of the population technically qualified, but another 9% were ineffectives. The rest was comprised of regulars.

No one knew what caused the powers to manifest. Sometimes powers didn’t manifest until late adulthood and sometimes it was triggered in infancy, though most people got their powers if they had them in early puberty. Being an ineffective was generally frowned upon because you weren’t good or useful enough to be a super, but you were stronger--and thus more dangerous--than a regular.

Lukas had had a super for a grandmother on his dad’s side and an ineffective on his mom’s. He manifested at age 5, though it took his family a little while to notice. Lukas’s power was rather innocuous--he could make plants grow quicker than usual or out of season. Big deal. Only after Lukas’s mom passed, his dad wasn’t all too fond of seeing flowers pop up everywhere, of getting anymore negative attention on his family. Lukas’s mom had been an empath: weak enough to be an ineff, but still an ability usually reserved for supers. She’d hid it well, only trusting those she trusted because of the discrimination towards ineffs.

After his mom died, Lukas didn’t much care for the flowers either.

 

Philip had known he was an ineff since he was four years old and his mom sat him down to explain that no, other people couldn’t make pretty lights like Philip. She’d had no family history of powers, and though she largely refused to talk about him, Philip figured his father had probably been an ineff.

His mom’s drug addiction started about a year later, when Philip started school and his mom wasn’t watching him all day. He would make a show of cutting off the light in the room, directing it where he wanted, making shadow puppets with no shadows. She told him to hide the lights, that the other kids wouldn’t understand, though she loved them. He could mostly do that.

When he decided to show his friend in first grade the lights and his friend abandoned him, he learned that people feared his power, even one so simple as his. He turned off the lights and decided no one except his mom could see them.

Then he got taken by the CPS and carted off to nowhere upstate New York in a little town called Tivoli.

 

A lot of conservative towns have this idea that being ‘different’ is bad. In towns mostly full of regs, the ineffs tend to hide themselves and the supers tend to get the hell out. If Philip knows anything from the stories of nowheresville USA, it’s to keep your head down and not cause trouble. It worked for the first few days until someone’s mom who worked for social services told her kid who told the school and then it was all over the high school that he was a foster kid with a junkie mom. Everyone stayed out of his way then.

The nice thing about this stupid town was the space. In the city, there’s almost no greenery, just concrete and polluted air. Out here, you can wander off into the forest and no one will find you for hours. It’s like an escape for Philip when he doesn’t want to deal with Helen and Gabe or this stupid school. He just says he’s going out for a walk and finds this clearing about a half mile into the forest by his foster parents’ house and just... breathes. He learned to meditate years ago for control of his powers, so this area is a wonderful place for him to let loose a little.

He had his camera out, taking pictures of the trees. You don’t see the seasons--feel them--in the city like you do here. So he takes out his camera, lines up the shot, and realizes that the lighting fucking sucks.

Well, he can fix that.

With hardly a thought, the light shines like a miniature sun just where he wants it and he snaps the picture, moving the light around as it pleases him for more photos. Then he hears the crunch.

Immediately, the lights flicker out as Philip whips around to see if Helen or Gabe had come, only to see a different figure entirely. Lukas Waldenbeck or something, from his Lit class. The dude’s in the popular crowd, which immediately set off alarm bells in Philip’s head. He tenses, prepared for a confrontation, when the blond boy steps out from the trees, looking abashed and hesitant.

Philip raises as eyebrow as Lukas struggles to raise his eyes off the ground long enough to look Philip in the eye. Philip waits.

“Y-You like photography, huh?” The eyebrow goes higher.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Well, I-I do motocross and I’m trying to video it for my sponsors, but I kinda suck with a camera.” Philip’s eyebrow still doesn’t go down as he waits for some explanation.

“Could you maybe film for me?” Philip considers his options. One the one hand, this guy is a popular, and probably a reg, and he knows that this offer is suspicious. His first thoughts are that it’s some sort of trick. But with nothing else to do in this tiny little town, he agrees and decides to see how it’ll play out. Maybe it’ll be interesting.

 

The day he arrives to film with Lukas is a Sunday. Philip’s got nowhere else to be, really. Lukas said this is his usual day for filming and that he tries to finish editing Monday’s after school. So here they are on the Waldenbeck farm which is huge. Philip hadn’t realized Lukas was apparently rich and was rather thrown at the difference between them. But he kept his mouth shut and followed Lukas to where he did stunts for motocross and took out his camera.

He hadn’t really paid the bike much attention beyond noting it the first day he came to school and thinking its owner must be a pretentious asshole. He may not be all that impressed, but he likes the way that Lukas lights up at the sight of his own bike, a small smile coming onto his face, brightening his eyes. He looks happy for once, though Philip hadn’t noticed him being unhappy before.

“So you like motocross?” Lukas asked, and Philip hesitated before nodding.

“Sure, yeah, it’s... cool.” I mean he didn’t dislike it, but it wasn’t something he’d ever cared about before.

“Cool.” After a moment of awkward silence, Lukas shoves the helmet on his head and Philip starts recording.

“Let’s see what you can do, Waldenbeck.”

And he does.

 

The film’s pretty good. Not the best, since he had to film it with a second-hand camera, but it’s definitely better than anything Lukas had on his channel. He thinks if he uses his computer at home, he could probably make it pretty epic, edit out the boring stuff, add transitions, and all that jazz. He’s barely even aware of Lukas getting off his bike as he looks through the film to see what he can do with it until Lukas slaps a hand on his shoulder.

“So? How was I?”

“Not too shabby. I’ll have to edit out the parts where you look like a dork, but...” Philip snarks.

“Excuse you!” Lukas says with a mock-offended expression gracing his features and making him look even more dorky, but he can only keep it up for a few seconds before he breaks down in giggles, causing Philip to follow.

When they’ve got their composure again, Lukas checks his watch and sees that he’s been ~~showing off~~ practicing for several hours and asks Philip if he wants to join him for a beer in his dad’s cabin. Philip has mostly decided this isn’t a prank, so he shrugs, puts on the helmet, and gets on the bike.

Though he can’t see Lukas’s facial features through the large helmet, he’s sure he’s smirking at him when he tells Philip “hold on tight” and immediately puts on the gas. It’s enough to have Philip leaning desperately forward for traction and clinging tightly onto Lukas’s stomach, knowing his own face is probably pinched unattractively in fear and adrenaline.

After a few moments and no crashes, Philip slowly opens his eyes and relaxes his grip a little, so he won’t accidentally cut off Lukas’s air supply and get them both killed. He’s been in a car a few times, obviously, but he’s never been on a motorcycle before. As the air slams against his helmet and he can hear nothing else but his own cheering and blood pumping in his ears, he decides he kinda likes it.

It only takes a few minutes to get to Lukas’s cabin and Philip’s a bit disappointed. Still, he takes off the helmet, and knows his cheeks are flushed and he’s smiling widely but he can’t make himself stop. He’s also giggling some which has Lukas rolling his eyes and being a smug little dork.

When they get in the cabin, Lukas heads straight for the fridge and Philip sits in the window seat, looking out at all the green grass that’s still so novel to him.

“Here, just don’t drop it.” Lukas says, tossing a bottle of beer at Philip. He obviously doesn’t know Philip or he’d know not to throw things at him and expect them to come out unscathed in the end. Lukas sniggers when he drops the bottle and Philip sends him an icy glare as he twists the top off. Some immediately spills, so he goes for broke and chugs the foam that insists on leaving the bottle top. Lukas takes the bottle next and wipes the top off with his shirt and a little hope Philip had in the back of his mind was decreased.

“Germaphobe?”

“No, why?” He says obliviously and Philip lets it go.

“So how’s the film looking? Can I see?” And Philip hands him his camera, presses play, and watches the boy’s face for reactions. A small smile turns larger as the film progresses, though Lukas is watching on fast-forward. He seems pleased though, and points to the camera as he lets it play at normal speed.

“Man you really caught my air on that jump!” Philip leans in to see just which jump he’s talking about--he made several--and doesn’t think anything about invading personal space until Lukas’s voice is right by his ear and he feels his breath on his face and turns to see the other boy much nearer than he realized.

It’s an involuntary reaction, to look as Lukas’s lips. He’s a reasonably hot guy. Not Philip’s usual type, but nice-looking. Secretly dorky too, which is a plus.

“Dude, my sponsors are gonna flip out over this.”

“It’s that good?”

It’s hardly a glance at Lukas’s lips, but it’s like it turns the other boy into a stuttering mess.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s amazing. I’ve never had footage this good. It-It’s... I mean, you’re amazing. I mean you’re awesome.” And then Lukas is looking at his face and Philip’s eyes are darting to Lukas’s lips and back up and then Philip feels himself leaning in without conscious thought.

It doesn’t go as planned.

Lukas shoves him away with a “what the hell are you doing?!” and Philip resigns himself to being single for the foreseeable future.

“N-Nothing, I’m not...” and he starts to get up and walk away before things can get worse, but Lukas’s hand shoots out and tugs the bottom of his leather jacket and Philip decides leaving anyhow might make things more awkward. Maybe Lukas is just going to say that he’s not interested, but they should still be friends or something. Philip is looking away, even as Lukas tries desperately to start up some kind of conversation.

“S-So I, uh, got a ton of air on those jumps, huh?” And the awkwardness is stifling.

“Yeah, those... whips ain’t easy.”

“I didn’t say they were.”

“I thought you were into motocross.” He says it like an accusation. Philip doesn’t know how to respond, but he’s feeling rather eager to leave at this point, so when Lukas’s grip slackens at the pause, he replies,

“No. No, I’m not actually, so...” And Lukas reaches back out to stop him and Philip wonders what on earth has led this boy to be such a masochist and why on earth Philip just goes with it.

“Hey, please sit down--sit down.” He looks like he’s trying to decide what to say and coming up short, but Philip notices when Lukas’s hand grips the bottom of his jacket again and holds him lightly in place. Maybe I have a chance, Philip thinks, and looks down again to Lukas’s lips, more hesitantly this time, afraid of another rejection.

But this time no rejection comes. Before Philip can process the action, Lukas leans forward and bends his head to the side and pecks Philip’s lips with his own dry, cracked ones. Then they meet in the middle. Lukas pulls back.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what if someone sees us?” Philip’s still high on the kiss so he teases back, “what, like a squirrel?” Lukas’s face is all too serious though.

“No one’s ever gonna know about this. Cause you’re never gonna tell them.” Philip’s not used to closeted cases. His mom’s openly bisexual, though she has a preference for men, and in the city, no one really gives a shit. He figures it’ll be fine though, they just have to find secluded places to make out in the future. So Philip says nothing and leans right back in.

They make out for hours, losing their shirts in the process. Philip long ago told Gabe that he was going out in the woods and knows he’ll cover for him to Helen, since he’s cool like that. Neither notices the flowers growing underneath the window.

It’s when Philip pulls out the condom that things start going to shit.

“Are you kidding me? I’m not doing that!” Lukas says, batting the condom away. But Philip’s down for frottage or handsies or just more making out, so he doesn’t really mind.

“It’s just--everyone in the city carries one.” Philip says as an excuse. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s never even used one and just offered to let a boy he’s known for a matter of hours use it.

“It’s okay, it’s fine.” Philip coaxes, and Lukas succumbs like putty to Philip’s mesmerizing mouth. It had been the first feature he noticed of the new kid and he found he had trouble looking away.

“Shit! It’s my dad.” Lukas immediately went about putting his shirt back on and hiding the empty beer bottle. Instead, they hear several voices that shouldn’t be there, since Lukas says he doesn’t know the men they see through the window. Philip doesn’t even have time to do more than shove on his shirt, jacket, and shoes before Lukas is urging him under the bed, while Philip watches him hide in the closet.

The bed is far from an ideal hiding spot, Philip discovers.

He hears two sharp explosions then two large thumps as bodies drop, shot in the head. Philip finds himself suddenly on the verge of a panic attack and desperately tries to control his breathing.

“It’s okay, I’m with the FBI.” The other man explains to the barefooted man. The killer’s response is another small explosion and Philip feels himself let out a small gasp. It was hardly audible, but apparently enough for the killer. Philip shrinks infinitesimally back in the small space and puts his head down so he won’t have to see if the man kills him too, staring instead and dirty bare feet. Philip feels his power in his skin, coming to his defense, and he completely eliminates all the light that might help the killer see him or Lukas.

There’s a loud bang as Lukas hits the killer with the frying pan--once, twice--and he goes down. “Philip, come on!” Lukas shouts, and Philip can hardly move without Lukas pushing him out the door. They run.

 

The explosions weren’t the sounds of gunfire, he later discovers. He ignited the gunpowder in the bullets and directs them where he wants them to go, but he doesn’t need a gun.

The killer is a super.

 

When they hop off Luka’s bike and Philip feels he can maybe, maybe convince his lungs to work right again, Lukas explains the powers he saw the man use.

“We can’t tell anyone.” Lukas says.

“He’s going to kill us. He knows we were there now and he won’t stop looking for us.”

 “We’re eyewitnesses. This guy’s a super. Oh, god, we’re fucked.” Philip shares the sentiment.

“We weren’t there, alright? No one knows we were hanging out together. It’s less suspicious if we don’t hang out at school or anywhere public. If he only sees us individually, he’s less likely to recognize us. He didn’t see your face, right?”

“I don’t think so, no. Just a bit of my hair.”

“Okay, okay... Okay, we lay low. Keep our heads down. Act like nothing’s wrong.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Shit. I don’t know how to defend myself against a super!”

“If it all works out, we won’t have to.” They both know that hope isn’t enough. They won’t be as lucky next time, if there is a next time. Lukas looks at Philip’s swollen lips but doesn’t even give him a peck as he tells Philip to put his helmet back on and drives him towards the Torrences’ place.

Neither boy gets much sleep that night.


	2. Chapter 2

Lukas startled awake, sitting straight up in his bed, breathing erratic. His dad raised a single eyebrow from the doorway he’d just opened. Having accidentally banged the door open had sounded all too much like a gunshot to Lukas.

He was hoping it had all been a dream, but he knew it wasn’t. But still, if you don’t admit the truth, then it’s easier to pretend it’s a lie.

Bo stood in the doorway with a plate of eggs and a glass of orange juice in either hand.

“Nightmare.” Lukas explained away. Bo put down the plate and glass.

“Made you breakfast. Eat up before you’re late.” Lukas has always hated how his father could be doing something nice for you and still turn it into an order. Ever since Lukas’s mother...

“Yeah, dad.” Bo nodded and left. Lukas got out of bed and looked out his window to the little flower garden directly beneath the windowsill. The flowers had withered overnight from his nightmare. With a sigh and a careful look at the still-open door, he squinted his eyes at the flowers, causing them to grow back to how they’d looked yesterday.

He didn’t want to go to school.

He didn’t want to see Philip, but at the same time, it was the only thing helping him get dressed and grab his backpack.

He needed Philip because Philip was the only other person who had been there. He would understand in a way no one else ever could.

But at the same time, they couldn’t be seen together. It would only help the killer find them.

 

When Lukas parked his bike, he saw Philip standing at the front of the school, without his jacket. Good, the killer could have seen it.

Philip saw Lukas and purposefully looked down at his phone. Moments later, Lukas felt his own phone buzz.

‘Helen got the call this morning.’ Lukas nodded and put away his phone to get ready for school. Rose and some of his other friends were hanging out just inside the entrance and he could hear them laughing before even opening the door.

“Lukas!” Rose shouted when she saw him. “Great footage from yesterday!”

“Thanks.” Lukas said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I left a comment and apparently I wasn’t the only one. With footage like that, you’re bound to get sponsors.” Lukas smiled at his old friend.

“Thanks, Rose.” Though he was early, he shuffled into his class, pulled out his notes from yesterday, and found himself staring blankly at the page.

Yesterday felt miles away.

_\--and Philip--oh god, he was going to shoot him--the metal of the handle of the frying pan was so cold to the touch--a clang and he went down--_

Lukas jumped when the warning bell rang, earning a few annoyed glances and a snicker or two. He busied himself with looking at the footage Philip had edited last night--probably while he too was unable to sleep. Rose was right: there were several comments and the footage was really good.

The teacher cleared her throat from the front of the room and though Lukas was in the third row, he rolled his eyes and put up his phone.

And then he realized: Philip wouldn’t have been there if not for Lukas. He couldn’t escape the feeling of guilt for the rest of the day.

Classes flew by in a haze. He felt like the world was going on around him, but he was stuck in time, sitting as the world turned without him.

Finally he got to Literature, the only class he shared with Philip, and he just couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. He looked so calm and collected, exactly how Lukas wished he felt. He wondered how Philip could act as if yesterday never happened.

Twice the teacher called Lukas out for not paying attention, but it didn’t do any good and eventually he gave up. The final bell rung and everyone was out of the class like a shot. Even the teacher was eager to leave. Mondays.

But Lukas didn’t move. He became aware of Philip, who’d been packing up more slowly than the others. Now Philip moved cautiously toward Lukas, as though he was afraid of startling him. With the tenseness tightly coiled in Lukas’s shoulders that he could feel all over his body, he figured it wasn’t an entirely inaccurate belief.

But he didn’t know Philip. Living through a horrifying experience together didn’t automatically make you friends, didn’t mean you were suddenly going to break down and share your life stories like in a freakin’ chickflick. Still, Philip edged closer until he took the empty seat to the right of Lukas’s.

“Hey... you okay?” Lukas shot Philip a look of disdain and Philip winced.

“Yeah, you’re right. But still. You’ve been zoning all day.”

“How did you--?”

“You’re the only kid in this school who’ll wear plaid. It’s not that hard to spot you in the hall.”  
“You were looking for me?” Lukas asked, surprise coloring his voice.

“After yesterday, I figure we gotta look out for one another. We don’t exactly have a choice, do we?”

“No, I don’t think we really do.” Philip nodded, biting his lip in a distracting manner that he seemed oblivious to. Finally he seemed to make up his mind about something as he sat up straighter.

“Well, in that case, it’s nice to meet you. You know, except for witnessing a triple homicide together. I’m Philip Shea.” Lukas looked incredulously at the other boy.

“What? I barely know anything about you besides your name and that you’re a good kisser who likes motocross.”

“That’s all there really is to know about me.” Lukas said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Now I sincerely doubt that.” Philip said. Lukas had a sudden urge to ask ‘are you flirting with me?’ before remembering that in the city, people didn’t care so much about this stuff. Philip still needed time to adjust to Tivoli, learn its ways. Otherwise he’d get eaten alive in this town, where gossip is everyone’s favorite past-time.

Philip still had his hand out from his introduction, waiting. Lukas eventually rolled his eyes sighing and grasped Philip’s hand with his own.

“Hi, I’m Lukas Waldenbeck.”

“--and I’m an alcoholic.” Philip finished. “C’mon, that sounded like an introduction at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Put a little effort into it!” Lukas rolled his eyes again.

“Hi, my name is Philip Shea, and my favorite past time is criticizing Lukas Waldenbeck.” Lukas mocked.

“There you go!” Philip said giggling, his eyes scrunching adorably. Lukas punched him lightly in the shoulder, but couldn’t help laugh as well. For the first time today, he wasn’t thinking about the murders. Maybe Philip wasn’t so bad.

 

He hadn’t even had much time to contemplate the fact that Philip had powers. He’d just thought “that’s useful for photography” and let it go. But when he saw Philip’s whole face lit up in a grin at Lukas’s silly joke, he figured he understood why Philip’s affinity would be light.

What did it say about Lukas that he could grow and kill plants at will? That he was just a prop in others’ lives to make their world look pretty? That he was as useless as his mom’s empathy in the face of the cancer that tore their family apart?

What power did he really have? It served no real purpose in upstate New York, no real purpose for Lukas, or for anyone. Lukas was used to feeling useless, compared to others.

But it had been years since he’d been around someone his age with a power before.

Light and flowers. It sounds so beautiful, but how can they compare to a gun? When the ideal meets reality, the ideal always loses.

Their life wasn’t a fairytale or they wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. Disney fairytales didn’t involve reckless murder and trauma. But real life did, and real life always wins.

Besides, Philip didn’t know. He couldn’t know. He wouldn’t.

Lukas shoved the rest of his things in his backpack, flashed a half-hearted smile at Philip, and walked straight out the door and to his motorbike.

He wanted to go home. To forget it all.

The shooting. The powers. The _gayness_.

He wanted it to stop, to give him that bit of peace he couldn’t even find in his dreams.

He went home, half-assed his homework, and put in his headphones, blasting music as loud as he could stand it.

He wondered if Philip was just putting up a front of calmness before remembering that he’d heard Philip’s mom was a junkie. He was probably used to shit like this or something. But Lukas wasn’t, and so he tuned the rest of the world out and tried to just breathe.

 

After an indeterminable amount of time, Lukas found himself lightly dozing, despite the ridiculous volume of his headphones. He was sure if his dad knew, he’d be getting a lecture on how he’d develop hearing loss, but right now he just couldn’t bring himself to give a damn.

It was also why he couldn’t hear Philip enter the room. And why should he have suspected Philip to show up on the Waldenbeck property, all out of breath and ridiculously pretty-looking?

Then Philip took out Lukas’s headphones, causing him to jump several inches and almost hit Philip in surprise. Philip seemed undaunted, however, and leaned more over Lukas.

“He’s dead.” Philip said, with this light in his eyes. Yeah, Lukas got why his power was light. Then the words processed.

“W-What?”

“The killer. He was barefoot. I saw Helen’s murder-board, and one of the dead guys was barefoot. That means the killer is dead, Lukas. We’re safe.”

“We’re... we’re safe.” Lukas said, amazed. He knew flowers were probably blooming outside but he couldn’t give a damn in his happiness. Safe. They were _safe_!

Lukas caught Philip’s eyes roaming towards his lips, then glancing at his eyes, looking for permission. However, without really waiting, Philip found himself leaning those few scant inches forward to bring their lips together in a bruising kiss.

Lukas responded eagerly, pulling Philip down to continue the searing kiss, eager to get closer to him. Philip climbed on top of Lukas, still kissing him passionately, and Lukas found himself a little uneasy at being the one on bottom, so he pushed Philip to one side and climbed on top of him, leaving Philip’s legs spread slightly.

But he was too far away, so he grabbed Philip’s thighs and jerked him forward, so their crotches almost aligned. Philip was still eagerly participating in the kiss when their lips re-met, and Lukas felt more in control now.

Not that he felt particularly in control at the moment. He was drunk on ‘oh-my-god-we’re-not-gonna-die’ and the sexiness that this boy exuded without even apparently being aware of it.

Their crotches brushed once, twice, before Lukas shifted his hips away. He didn’t want to have sex, not right now, regardless of how wonderful this boy looked, lips all red from kissing, pupils blown, panting, with legs spread for Lukas.

Lukas slowed the kissing down to a less heated embrace and Philip willingly complied. Neither knew how long they made out for, but by the time they stopped, night had fallen. Lukas figured Philip probably didn’t want to piss off his foster parents--especially Sheriff Torrence since she was a cop an’ all--so he knew Philip would probably have to head back soon for dinner.

Lukas figured Gabe would probably be the type to insist on family dinners.

But when they got outside, Philip visibly sagged.

“Shit. Flat.” Philip said, inspecting the front tire of his rather-poorly-kept bike. Philip looked rather hopelessly at Lukas.

“You know how to fix a flat?” And though Lukas knew he should say ‘no’ and get away from this boy who made him feel so many things, Lukas found himself nodding.

“Yeah, but it’ll take a little while. I can give you a lift if you need a ride to the Torrences.” Philip looked relieved.

“Yes, please. My shoes are not the best to walk in for several miles.” Lukas looked down at Philip’s ratty tennis shoes and privately agreed. He’d need boots soon with the cold they got here in Tivoli. Those shoes looked ready to fall apart and wouldn’t survive the first day of winter out here. But Lukas said nothing and Philip followed him as they walked to Lukas’s motorbike.

Personally, Lukas loved his bike, but he had a sudden self-conscious thought of what Philip might think of it. But why the hell did he care? Still, he watched carefully as Philip put on his helmet and stared a little fearfully at the bike.

“What?” Lukas asked.

“Nothing. It’s just... there’s that big hill on the way to the Torrences.” Lukas raised an eyebrow, though he knew his helmet hid it from Philip.

“You afraid?”

“No! I’m just... anxious.” Lukas felt a small smirk form on his face.

“Aw, you can hold on to me if you feel ‘ _anxious_.’” Philip narrowed his eyes at Lukas.

“Keep that up and I’ll hold on so tight you won’t be able to breathe.” Lukas rolled his eyes, but took the threat seriously enough, and kept his mouth shut on the topic as they stepped on the bike.

He kinda liked the way Philip’s arms automatically came to wrap around his waist as Lukas started up the bike. He’d only started talking to this kid a few days ago. What was wrong with him? And why couldn’t he convince himself to stay away?

Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t stop thinking about the figure curled up against him, breathing on to his neck, squealing slightly as they flew a few inches above the ground after the big hill on the ride.

He couldn’t get this boy out of his mind. And some small voice in the back of his head knowingly whispered that he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to.

 

Knowing you were safe wasn’t enough to stop the nightmares or the hyper-vigilance, Lukas learned. He barely got any sleep the next night, or any night after for the rest of the week.

They were supposed to have been safe, then some girl turned up dead just outside of Tivoli county lines on Thursday.

The idea of safety was shattered. Philip insisted that it was a suicide, that she’d hung herself. Lukas thought otherwise.

Philip wanted it to be over, just like Lukas did, he knew. But. Lukas couldn’t stop worrying and if Philip wasn’t going to worry, then Lukas would just have to worry for the both of them.

 

Philip didn’t want Lukas to worry so much. He was paranoid, looking over his shoulder, jumping at sounds, startling at flashes of movement in the corners of his eyes.

Philip worried for him. That death--that girl, Bella--he didn’t want it to be a murder. It could have been a suicide. It was ruled a suicide, Helen told him.

But then she said it was a homicide and Philip couldn’t bring himself to tell Lukas.

The killer was leaving Tivoli, slowly moving away, Philip hoped. He didn’t want Lukas to worry when he was safe.

Lukas looked so tired now, much more so than when Philip had met him. But he seemed happier, just as he seemed more nervous.

Lukas was still extremely paranoid about the two of them hanging out in public, which grew to be a bit of an issue between them. Philip thought it was safe, but Lukas thought otherwise.

At least he seemed happy around Philip. When he was filming his stunts, it was like nothing could get him down. He was beaming, so beautifully. His cheeks were flushed, his hair was a mess, and Philip could only think he looked like some kind of angel.

The film for his channel was great too. It had several thousand hits, since Philip borrowed Tommy’s camera. He’d had to give his pocket knife over for collateral, but it wasn’t a big deal.

 

Lukas’s power was flowers. I mean, could he _be_ any more gay?

Of course he didn't want to tell anyone. Having powers was one thing, even as an ineff. But to have the lamest, most gay power ever?

Hell no, he'd never tell anyone.

Bo didn't say it, but Lukas had seen the way he looked at the flowers blooming out of season across the Waldenbeck farm and frowning slightly with that disapproving crease between his eyes.

He wished it would go away.

What use did he have for flowers? So he could grow a rose to give a girl. Who cared?

He'd tried suppressing his power. He knew you weren't supposed to do that, that it could cause all sorts of health problems and make his powers act crazy.

He tried, after his mom. He tried to hold in the power beneath his skin, keep it from ever seeing the light of day again.

He grew pale and sickly, but his father was so wrapped up in his own grief that he barely noticed. Flowers would wither and die overnight. An entire garden would spring up while Lukas was sleeping or emotional.

He tried so hard, but he had to stop when his powers only grew more obvious through his willing them away. The only real way to control his power was to use it frequently, in small doses, enough to drain the extra energy from him and keep the power contained; Tivoli had some of the prettiest gardens in all of New York and Ms. Anderson up the road was incredibly proud of her garden of petunias.

It was a blessing and a curse, to have to use his power to make it also go away. But his dad frowned less looking out the window nowadays, and Lukas counted that as a win.

He wondered what Philip would think. He didn't really care that much about the boy--didn't really know much about him--but they were already doubly-bound in secrets: the murders and the make-outs.

Lukas wouldn't lie, the make-outs were great. He would lose sight of the whole world for a few breathtaking minutes, lose himself in Philip's eyes, lips, flushed cheeks, being.

Philip didn't show his lights much for Lukas.

Lukas wondered if he was as ashamed of his power as Lukas was of his own.

He didn't ask.

 

They were waiting outside the cabin--the cabin that neither could stand to be inside anymore--with Tommy’s borrowed camera ever so slowly downloading onto Philip’s computer via the Waldenbeck farm’s shitty wifi. After staring at the screen for several seconds and only 3% loading, Philip turned to Lukas with his eyebrows doing that cute raised thing they do when Philip’s teasing Lukas or being flirty.

“We should play twenty questions.” Lukas felt his face screw up in confusion.

“W-what? Why?”

“‘Why’ he asks. Because I’m bored and know next to nothing about you.” Lukas rolled his eyes, but found himself agreeing.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“Fine. Hmm, what’s your middle name?”

“James. You?”

“You can’t just ask the same question back!”

“What, there are rules now to twenty questions?”

“Don’t be a dick.” Philip chided.

“Fine, whatever. Uh... cats or dogs?” Philip shrugged.

“I guess dogs, but I like cats a lot too. Hmm. Do you have any pets?”

“I mean we have a ton of animals on the farm, like turkeys and shit. But my dad kept one of my mom’s cat’s kittens, so we have a really shitty mouse-hunting cat that lazes about all day.”

“And yet I bet you love that cat to death.” Philip teased. Lukas rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“It’s your turn again, dumbass!” Philip laughed. Lukas sighed, but was smiling when he asked his next question.

“If you could only take five items with you to an uninhabited island, what would you take?”

“Well, unlike you, I am not obsessed with motocross, so that’s not one. Uh... probably my mom, my camera, my phone... a flare gun... and... I don’t know, Ellen? Because you know when a high-profile person is missing, they’re gonna be searching like crazy for them.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Oh, I’m ridiculous, Mister Lukas James Waldenbeck. Your name sounds so pretentious.”

“Excuse you! What the hell is your full name then?”

“Philip Tyler Shea.” Lukas grimaced, realizing he couldn’t make fun of the name.

“And that doesn’t count for a question, since I already asked you and it’s my turn.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“When did you start motocross?”

“Uh, when I was like... thirteen, I think?”

“Oh, you think? Are you getting on up there in age, memory leaving you?”

“Please, I’m only a few months older than you, you dork.” Philip stuck out his tongue and Lukas surprised him by lunging forward for a kiss, that was unsuccessful since they were both laughing too hard when Philip fell back from the surprise.

Lukas thought Philip looked so beautiful when he was happy. He looked so... bright, like the sun, like the lights Philip could make.

He wondered if Philip could light the dark spaces inside Lukas’s heart. Lukas felt his own power in his skin and forcibly pushed it down.

It didn’t do to dream of impossible things.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I never post a fic when it's a WIP... yet, here I am, doing just that. I sincerely hope to have another chapter out soon, but... actual plot is eluding me... writer's block sucks. BUT I SHALL PREVAIL (and comments help)
> 
> Please comment :)


	3. Chapter 3

He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Philip kept mentioning PTSD, but Lukas ignored him. Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

\-- _Boom, down_

_oh god, they’re dead_

_I’m gonna die_

_BANG_

_drop_

_BANG_

_drop_

_“It’s okay, I’m with the FBI”_

_BANG_

_drop_

_silence_

_we’re gonna die--_

Lukas knew that however Philip dealt with everything was different than Lukas’s methods. Lukas was just...reckless. He was doing more daring stunts than ever, behaving erratically, sleeping less and less, just... He knew he wasn’t acting himself. And it almost hurt that Rose and his dad didn’t even notice a difference.

_“I’m tired.”_ and they left him alone.

He’s not sure if he wants them to push the issue.

He can’t stop looking over his shoulder. He can’t stop seeing shadows out of the corners of his eyes. Philip suggested meditation and Lukas tries it, but he feels so vulnerable out in the open with his eyes closed that he has to stop before he has a panic attack.

Philip doesn’t ask again.

Lukas convinced Rose to give him a couple of her mom’s painkillers so he could sleep. He hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. But he finds himself worse off with the medicines, since he gets drowsy enough to want to doze off, but hyper aware of his incapacity to deal with any threat that may attack.

He feels like he’s going insane.

He wonders how Philip feels.

If he is always looking around, always expecting an attack, always jumpy.

Waiting.

Because to Lukas the killer coming back to finish off the job isn’t a question, it’s an inevitability.

He’s taken to hiding a hunting knife in his backpack because Philip laughed at him when he thought of bringing the ~~not so~~  lucky frying pan.

Well it had worked before, hadn’t it? But it was too big and bulky anyhow.

But Philip? He seemed fine. A little nervous, slightly jumpy, but he didn’t show other outward signs of panic. Not like Lukas.

To be fair, Philip did have a better means of protecting himself due to his ability to block out light. All he had to do was block the light in front of the killer and he’d be blinded.

Lukas wondered if he could permanently remove the killer’s ability to see so he could never finish the job, but Philip doesn’t like to talk about his power.

_He still thinks I’m a reg._

He lets it go. For now.

 

Philip tells Lukas that Helen knows he’s hiding something. Coming out to her had been a shock and hopefully enough to put her off the scent, but how could Philip be so cavalier about it? Like it was no big deal?

Maybe it wasn’t in the city. But here? Here, you’d get eaten alive for admitting something like that.

There were ways of course. Sneaking out to clubs in other towns, watching porn and clearing your history. But to admit to anyone in town? Practically unheard of.

Lukas can’t understand. Maybe it’s different for Philip for some reason. Maybe because he still thinks of Tivoli as temporary, but for Lukas he doesn’t dare consider the possibility.

There are benefits and downsides to being part of the in-crowd at school. He’s always watched, like a model for the other students to follow. And his dad? He doesn’t dare think what his dad would do, not after all those passing comments about “queers” and “fags.”

It’s not that he hates being gay, or that he’s afraid of it by itself. It’s other people he worries about. And he _knows_ it’s silly, alright? He does. But that doesn’t stop his mind from whispering about _what ifs._

Plus he’s doubly-marked, being both an ineff and gay. Out here, it’ll get him ostracized at best. His best hope is to get a motocross scholarship and get the hell out of Tivoli.

And with a murderer on their tails?

All he wants right now is to get away. Thankfully Philip helps with that.

With Philip he feels safer. He can push the _what ifs_ aside and ignore them for a few minutes of peace. He can smile and laugh and make jokes. He can be okay for a little bit, a little less vigilant.

It’s an odd feeling, knowing that Philip makes him feel safe. He doesn’t believe in soul mates or true love, but he doesn’t think this is too far off from the closest people can get to it.

Philip had stopped being as worried though. His ability to bounce back astounds Lukas and even makes him a little angry. He should be more alert, more cautious, but he laughs at Lukas for jumping at every little sound when they’re alone. He knows Philip is trying to help him calm down, but they can’t bridge their differences in this matter.

A few days ago, Tommy and Tracy were found dead, apparently having OD’d on hard drugs--drugs they’d never even taken.

The timing was suspicious, but Philip told Lukas that it was easy to overdose on a drug you’re unfamiliar with.

Lukas doesn’t ask how he might know that.

Lukas and Philip are so different. He knows they’ll eventually have to talk over all the things they haven’t said to one another.

Still, Lukas doesn’t ask.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long it took me to update. I just started a new semester and I've been having several different minor but irritating health issues over the past month. Thanks for your patience and sorry this is a short chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> This didn't turn out at all how I wanted it to. But it's a start. Might write more, if encouraged enough, so please comment!


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